Gassy dogs

It's something only a dog lover can tolerate, overlook, ignore or accept the "blame" for:

Fido flatluence.

I have two 5 pound (2.3 kilograms) Pomeranians whose fur is trimmed, making them appear even smaller than their weight.

But trust me a little dog's cheese, when cut, can go a very long way.

Mistletoe normally does not have digestion dilemmas - but when she has her annual ... release ... party, usually around the holidays, her fumes could, I swear, keep any flame burning for well beyond eight days.

Happy Hanukkah!

Oscar, on the other hand, contributes more to the air-obic atmosphere on a near daily basis. My right eye is my "tell." It closes naturally when his little rear end exhaust pipe vaporizes the room.

Talk about packing a punch.

But they're nothing compared to a little spaniel visitor we had earlier this year.

I swear, the paint peeled and the wallpaper wept, curling its way down to the floor, surrendering to the powerfully pungent odor.

All of which is a plea to everyone this holiday: please do not slip pups any extra special treats, especially human food.

You won't be doing yourself - or your guests - any favors.