Breakdown!

I do believe I'm the poster child for meshugenah this week.

"Meshugenah" is a yiddish term for mad, crazy, bonkers, batty, unglued, whacko, insane, nutty- ah, right - you get the idea.

It isn't often that I go 'round the twist, but I have the past couple days.

Being collateral damage from the emotional upheaval in someone else's life is possibly the least fun I've ever had. Like, ever.

Not sleeping or eating or making much sense myself while trying to make sense of what in reality makes no sense at all as well as maintain my livelihood so I can pay those ever present bills has been a bizarre challenge.

But - thanks to having an appropriate person to share my state of (half a) mind and trusted friends I've worked through it. At least for now. Who knows if it will pop back here and there but at least for now I'm back to my normal, stable, feet firmly on terra firma state.

I have no idea what the outcome will be in the grand scheme of things, so the only thing I can do is take the best care of myself to feel grounded, nurtured, cared for, cared about, respected, appreciated and clear about my own life and relationships.

It's also important for me to make independent plans for the future -- since there is nothing else I can control.

At least watching my school of colorful neon tetra fish swim, dive and zap back and forth across their aquarium helps me relax and keeps me smiling. Especially Pete, the joker of the group-

Um ... "Pete, the joker of the group?"

Hmmmm.

Maybe I'm still a *little* meshugenah... ;-)