Mourning
American icon Bill Cosby appeared to resume life *almost* as usual just two weeks after the horrendous robbery and murder of his 27 year-old son Ennis in January, 1997, on a California roadway as he was changing a tire.
People wondered how the world renown comedian - who had been devastated by the shocking, immediate loss of his son (and close friend) - could possibly be in any emotional shape to work again so soon. Could he possibly be that much of a trooper - or perhaps that cold?
He said the reason he found peace so quickly is because he had no regrets.
No regrets?
No regrets. He said the day to day decisions he made regarding the relationship with his son all the boy's life - taking time to be and speak with him, treating him with respect and admiration, giving him the support and guidance he needed, loving him, communicating with him, letting him know he mattered and was a priority in his life - all these things made theirs the exceptional relationship that it was.
It left him feeling that he had done everything possible to make his son's life a good one. To let him know his father was there with him every step of the way.
He said perhaps if he had regrets - if he felt guilty because he had not tended to Ennis and their relationship day by day - that he would feel horrible about what he didn't do, what he "should have" said or done and grieve the unfinished business he no longer had the opportunity to complete.
But he was there. He did everything he could, day after day, to make a difference in his son's life. And believed he had done his very best - that he could do no more. And because of that, he found peace; though he would physically miss his son daily, he has a sense of carrying his spirit moment by moment.
I like that. Be aware. No regrets means no guilt. No guilt means feeling at peace with who we are and what we've done in any relationship.
Hello, Friend.
People wondered how the world renown comedian - who had been devastated by the shocking, immediate loss of his son (and close friend) - could possibly be in any emotional shape to work again so soon. Could he possibly be that much of a trooper - or perhaps that cold?
He said the reason he found peace so quickly is because he had no regrets.
No regrets?
No regrets. He said the day to day decisions he made regarding the relationship with his son all the boy's life - taking time to be and speak with him, treating him with respect and admiration, giving him the support and guidance he needed, loving him, communicating with him, letting him know he mattered and was a priority in his life - all these things made theirs the exceptional relationship that it was.
It left him feeling that he had done everything possible to make his son's life a good one. To let him know his father was there with him every step of the way.
He said perhaps if he had regrets - if he felt guilty because he had not tended to Ennis and their relationship day by day - that he would feel horrible about what he didn't do, what he "should have" said or done and grieve the unfinished business he no longer had the opportunity to complete.
But he was there. He did everything he could, day after day, to make a difference in his son's life. And believed he had done his very best - that he could do no more. And because of that, he found peace; though he would physically miss his son daily, he has a sense of carrying his spirit moment by moment.
I like that. Be aware. No regrets means no guilt. No guilt means feeling at peace with who we are and what we've done in any relationship.
Hello, Friend.
posted by cp @ 11:32 AM
1 Comments:
At 7:26 AM,
Anonymous said…
Touché! Awesome post Colleen - couldn't agree more with Bill Cosby's assessment of how to treat your friends and family ... no regrets. It's fine when everything is going smoothly, but taking the "easy way out" by lashing out or not giving the benefit of the doubt when things don't go as planned does more damage than good.
Taking effort to connect properly with your children and friends through good and bad takes a bit of extra time and effort, but goes a long way for your relationship.
I was "fortunate" enough to experience a significant health problem which in turn reinforced this view for me considerably and I try to live by it every day.
Keep up the blogging - loving it!
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