Colleen's thoughts on writing, directing and coaching, and her unique take on life itself!

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

How we see ourselves

Poet Robert Burns wrote:

Ah, wad some power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as others see us!

Seems to me that lots of people care more about how they *believe* others see them rather than how all those eyes actually see - or perceive - them.

Ever asked those "other people" how they view you? Experience you? Think about you?

How much does it matter? What does it matter? Why does it matter?

Some people are nearly obsessed with how they want others to think about them; they work very hard to make certain others view them in a certain way.

Instead of being themselves and pursuing what makes them unique and special and - possibly - different, they mold their appearance and behavior to present themselves in that specific way that they believe will be most acceptable to those they want to impress or with whom they want to connect.

Thing is, no matter how hard they try to be perceived in a specific way, the sorry fact is that we have absolutely no control - or way of knowing how anyone is actually viewed - by anyone.

Think about it.

The same person who is someone's hero is another person's zero.

The same person who is drop-dead beautiful to one person isn't all that attractive to someone else.

In short, no matter what we do, no matter how hard we try, there we are. Just who we are.

It's no secret: the reason we attempt to avoid letting people know who we are is a lack of self-esteem, shame -- all sorts of (generally unnecessary) sad and dysfunctional reasons.

All of which, in the end, leaves the pretender alone and lonely because they don't want anyone to know who they only believe they are.

For in the end, because of their emphasis on other people's viewpoint and opinions?

The only person they would know the least - is themselves.

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