Too many soldiers die=no more individual memorials

Michael Gilbert reports in The News Tribune that because the system can no longer handle the large numbers of soldiers killed in Iraq returning to Fort Lewis, Washington for appropriate individual memorial ceremonies, the army will have only one memorial service a month now to honor everyone killed during that time.

The one memorial observance a month for all soldiers killed policy has already been established at other US bases from which the soldiers were dispatched.

One soldier killed in Iraq, Casey Sheehan, whose mother Cindy tried in vain to make certain her son did not die for nothing, has quit her role of being "the face" of the new American anti-war movement on Memorial Day. Because she has been so villified for her anti-war views and Americans seem to be so apathetic about our military volunteers being killed in Iraq, she believes she can do no more to raise awareness or fight the system.

Just days earlier, Sheehan quit the Democrat party when dems went along with the vote to continue funding the war in Iraq.

"The most devastating conclusion that I reached this morning," wrote Sheehan, " was that Casey did indeed die for nothing." Casey would have just turned 28.

She continued, "Our brave young men and women in Iraq have been abandoned there indefinitely by their cowardly leaders who move them around like pawns on a chessboard of destruction and the people of Iraq have been doomed to death and fates worse than death by people worried more about elections than people."

She also slams leaders of the anti-war movement, characterizing it as "... a peace movement that often puts personal egos above peace and human life."

You can read her entire letter of resignation here.

Interestingly, Sheehan's right-wing detractors ripped her apart, day after day, with personal slurs, name-calling and allegations rather than with issues-oriented argument and debate; they also neglected to have any empathy for a woman whose son was killed in battle wearing a US uniform.

I'm always suspicious of people who are only capable of calling people with whom they disagree disparaging names rather than discussing issues over which they disagree.

As of yesterday, the death toll of US women and men soldiers killed in Iraq is 3,428, according to the Washington Post, which publishes the names and faces of every fallen hero. Officially, 25,549 US troops have been wounded; unofficial estimates run as high as 100,000.

May has been one of the most deadly months of the war for our soldiers; more than 117 women and men have been killed.

With Sheehan's resignation, George Bush and company register a big domestic win; there will be one less major distraction from the way they prefer us to live as Iraq continues to deteriorate, and our soldiers continue to be killed: with bid'niz as usual.

Commercial noises create mahem!

If you have a dog, you are very familiar with what I'm going to say.

There are commercials on television that feature irritating noises that set any dog off!

Barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark!

Oy!

One ad shows a bunch of vacuums accompanied with a series of SQEAKY TOY noises!
Squeaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueak!

It sets my dogs off on a major barking spree, regardless of the time of day, as they desperately look for the squeaky toy around the television set, each hoping to be the first to find it.

Another thing that puts them into a full tilt bark-o-rama is the sound of cats meowing or dogs barking in commercials and programs that feature these animals.

They adore their kitty sister Allie Cat, so they're very protective of her, and let any cat they see or *hear* know they are her guardians!



Likewise, if they hear dogs barking in the TV set, they believe the dog is actually *here* and start doing back flips as they bark their territorial boundaries.

I have to be ultra vigilant with the remote control - as soon as I see the squeaky toy-sounding vacuum commercial's first frame, I press the MUTE button!

Sadly I can't predict when sounds of dogs barking will be broadcast on TV or radio, so I have to keep an alert ear perked so I can attempt to avert all the yapping that results when the TV sounds like it contains a pack of dogs sounding off.

Those noises come when I least expect them. When there was news coverage of poisoned pet food, the news stories were rife with pets as their owners commented on the horrors that frightened us all. More pet stories on the news means I must be even more vigilant.

Meanwhile, I continue to sit here, innocently tapping away at my keyboard with the pups and kitty napping up against me, realizing that without warning - SNAP! Barks, meows, squirrels and other animal voices broadcast on TV create barking, meowing mahem in our modest, quiet abode.



But seriously, who ever heard a vacuum cleaner make squeaky toy noises

Iraq war horrors predicted, ignored

When US President Bush pushed the USA to attack Iraq back in 2001, anyone - Republican or Democrat - who opposed the (quite possibly illegal) incursion was called a traitor, anti-American, wimpy, voting for a "surrender" to terrorists ... and the lurid list of accusations by the Bush administration went on.

The result was that the Republican-dominated Congress easily passed the bill funding the military offensive.

With Friday's release of the shocking Prewar Intelligence About Postwar Iraq report by the US Senate Intelligence Committee, it turns out that all the horrific problems the US, Iraq and other nations currently face because of the ongoing, seemingly never-ending war instigated without cause by President Bush were predicted.

Predicted.

The report is 229 pages.

I swear, I don't know how those who engineered the Iraq attack can sleep at night, let alone continue to call people who object to this American-led and -fed bloodbath, "traitors" or un-American or "voting for surrender" if they elect a democrat.

But we have to note members of both parties who voted to give Bush authority to attack Iraq - had access to this report, and (fewer) members of both parties voted *against* it for the very reasons cited in this report.

The report says (all those years ago), an attack on Iraq feeds into the terrorists' plans to recruit members because the US will be seen as an aggressor and occupier if it invades Iraq, not "greeted as liberators."

As suggested by President Bush's father, former President George H. W. Bush, and others well versed on Middle Eastern culture and policies, even the attempt to establish a stable democracy in Iraq would be a "long, difficult and probably turbulent process."

The newly declassified documents carry plenty of evidence that Bush and members of his administration were well warned of the probability of a horrific conundrum if a war were started in Iraq.

US Senate Intelligence Chairman Jay Rockefeller (D-W.VA) says, "Sadly, the administration's refusal to heed these dire warnings, and worse, to plan for them, has led to tragic consequences for which our nation is paying a terrible price."

President Bush says he remains steadfast about his decision to continue the war in Iraq, defending his desire to get rid of Saddam Hussein.

The National Intelligence Council's findings were most heavily used in the report, drawing its information and conclusions from a number of intelligence agencies (more than 80 are listed); the report was widely distributed to White House staff, national security, diplomatic and congressional offices.

In addition to playing into the hands of terrorists and creating mayhem in the nation, the invasion was predicted to detonate several tribal and civil wars within Iraq unless they were stopped by the "occupying force."

More, "Score settling would occur throughout Iraq between those associated with Saddam's regime and those who have suffered most under it."

The occupying force would have to provide massive military, economic and restructuring support to the nation destabilized by an attack because its only real resource is oil, and petroleum production has been significantly hindered by the war.

Instead of seeking bids for restructuring the nation - a hundreds of billions of dollars effort - Bush and Cheney gave the work outright to Cheney's former employer Halliburton, which is moving its main headquarters to the nation of Dubai in the United Arab Emirates to avoid paying taxes in the US.

Meanwhile, Iran and other neighboring countries were predicted to jockey for influence in Iraq if Saddam were deposed.

Iraq's so-called "weapons of mass destruction?" Were never found. Further, other nations proceeding with potential programs incorporating weapons of mass destruction had nothing to do with Iraq and continue to develop whatever they were developing before the invasion of Iraq.

By the way, did you know that Saddam's warehouses of standard weapons found in Iraq were not locked down by the US Military. One intelligence officer in Iraq after the invasion reported that because the US military was not prepared to assume responsibility for the huge inventory of weapons, insurgents raided the warehouses day after day following the declaration of "mission accomplished" by President Bush.

Despite suffering the slings and arrows of Bush administration bullies and arm twisting to manufacture the Congressional vote to put our soldiers in harm's way, I thought you'd like to see the names of the US Representatives and Senators who, way back when, voted against funding the original assault on Iraq,

Many of them quoted the very points cited in the Intelligence Report - and were ridiculed or dismissed as "typical liberals, loony lefties, and even anti-American." You'll have to scroll down the roll call to see the entire list.

Meanwhile, as Bush swears he supports our troops: why have the Marines just reported that they have only received 10% of the protective armor they requested months ago? Why aren't there enough resources to treat our wounded and maimed veterans here at home and that substandard and dilapidated VA treatment centers have been discovered? (BTW, the Washington Post reporter who broke this story was called "un-American" by some for her reporting). Why are so many coming home with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - only to find, again, too few resources to treat them, leaving their families to suffer along with them.

Then there's the pesky problems of veterans committing suicide after their return from Iraq, which has been declared a problem but not studied well enough to know just how extensive it is.

Again, I ask. Why did President Bush invade Iraq when clearly he had no realistic military task, goal, plan ... or dare I say, even a clue?

He has had five years to attend one funeral of one soldier killed in Iraq and still refuses to. He's had five years to explain the real reason we invaded Iraq (all the reasons he has told us over the past five years that we entered this war turned out to be untrue), but instead he only uses rhetoric that he hopes will frighten us to control our behavior and our money.

Actually, I finally bought into the politics of fear.

What Bush, Cheney and their henchmen are doing to our nation scares the hell out of me.

Memorial Day

Today...

Please think of the veterans who won't be coming home to take advantage of all those sales that "honor" them.
God bless our fallen heroes.

God bless the families and loved ones they leave behind.

God bless the more than 600,000 innocent Iraqis who have been killed in the US-Iraqi war.

And ask President Bush why he has never attended one funeral of any soldier killed in the US-Iraq war.

Is being a cog a bad thing?

In the US, there's a television commercial that shows a virtual assembly line of people buying stuff without interruption. In one case the stuff they're buying is flora of all sorts. Flowers, pots, yanga yanga yanga, without stopping.

Mindlessly.

Customers are like robots, putting their VISA card in its receptor at the "cash" register; each customer is a little robotic ball bearing that keeps the wheels of commerce turning without stopping.

The overhead shot shows a carefully choreographed movement of people using credit card cash to ceaselessly move through the collection component of the money making machinery.

Then-suddenly-

WHAP!

OH NO!!!!

The bad guy stops the senseless shopping scenario by - wait for it - paying with a check
or cash!
The mechanical, thought-free merchant money mechanism is ground to a halt by this peremptory patron!

The punishment for such hideous purchasing protocal?

Being stared at by disgruntled dudes standing in line! Rank disapproval for not conforming to the manner *all* the other customers obviously pay; for preventing the line from moving without interruption.

To avoid this horrible embarrassment, you must pay exactly the way all the other drones do ... with a VISA card or you are a JERK! Gulp! You are out of it! You are not kewl! You don't fit! The way you pay isn't "normal."

Worse, YOU are ... (deep breath, heavy sigh) not ... "normal."

You. Are. In. The. Way.

You. Are. Out. Of. Place.

Wow.

The message is clear.

Those flowers and pretty vase? $125.



Having the self-esteem to pay just as you bloody well wish?


Priceless.

Getaway to arrive

I'm off to a writers' retreat for the weekend with members of my Master Writers' group.

We're going to our mentor's cabin out in the boonies (that's US slang for in the country, far from the city), hosting a large garden featuring a plethora of flowers and fruits and vegetables and other paraphernalia boasting beauty and great taste.

We're bringing bedding, food, drink, partners, children, dogs and .. writing.

I'm bringing my wee Pomeranian pup JR, who at 5 pounds needs to stick with me as closely as he normally does so the wildlife in the neighborhood doesn't consider him a tasty morsel.

Our group is significant, uncommon and exceptional. There are five members - each a gifted artist with a very different background, personality, goals and writing style. None of us is *anything* alike.

We meet every week, bringing something we've written, created, or a discovery about writing to share with the group for feedback or, more than likely, sheer enjoyment.

Interestingly, it was initially suggested that we invite several more people than just us because informal writers' groups are notorious for their dropout rates.

New people were, in fact, included. But for whatever reason, it seems to come down to us five. And for some reason, inexplicably, we always show up. Maybe it's just a habit, now.

With each meeting, our writing becomes sharper, keener; our artistic voices noticeably unique and increasingly clear.

There is no real "leader." Our original mentor is busy teaching another group at the same time, but he drops in on us at his break since we commandeered an empty room nearby to assemble. We consider ourselves, um, an "extension" self-study course.

One thing about writers. We tend to tell our truth. That's what it's all about for all artists, isn't it? Maybe that's what draws us to our gatherings. To hear what those truths are this week. What we have to share.

Sharing is the nature of the weekend. Sharing our families - whom we'll meet for the first time. Sharing food, fun, frivolity, festivities, fostering good will and creativity, mixed with a sip or two of humanity.

The sky will be clear, stars flickering, a new moon glowing.

Alone time. In The Zone time.

It's already memorable - at least in my mind. I can hardly wait to experience the real deal.

Rosie and Elisabeth

Good grief.
Most American entertainment reporters and media pundants don't seem to be able to understand what they see or hear when it comes to the heated exchange between Rosie O'Donnell and Elisabeth Hasslebeck on the US TV program The View.

It's as if they haven't heard an honest emotion uttered on TV; they seemed rattled. And of course there were those who degraded the exchange by calling it a "cat fight." ABC-TV early morning News even used the squaling of cats in the background.

I've seen almost all of those would-be journalists "report" that Rosie (whose name familiarity is joining the ranks of Oprah, Cher and Madonna; Elisabeth, however, will continue to be known as Elisabeth Who the moment Rosie is off The View) called US soldiers "terrorists," and she absolutely did not.

She inferred that the US government may be experienced as terrorists by Iraqis whose nation is being decimated by the US invasion-turned-all-out-war against (in their minds) Iraqis. Iraqis are not sitting around watching these faux analysts, they are trying to survive bombs, guns, and other artillery going off all around them, all the time.

To the pundants, the US-Iraq war is a notion; to the Iraqis it's a matter of life and death.

In order to understand what Rosie actually said, one must understand nuance. One must be able to think for themselves. Analyze.

Unfortunately, instead of a worthy opponent, Rosie saw someone across the table whom she thought actually knew her well enough to know that Rosie would never diss our kids in uniform. She saw a would-be friend deny her the benefit of the doubt, even enough to attempt to understand her genuine intention.

A would-be friend who instead attributed to Rosie thoughts and words she neither said nor intended. So she got emotional and delved into name-calling.

Elisabeth fought back, which her fans were happy to see. But she fought back with words intended only to push and diss Rosie with name-calling as well instead of participating in an educated argument.

No matter how you feel about Rosie's arguments? She reads, she researches, she wants to know more than what she is told by people who have every reason to mislead us.

Elisabeth doesn't appear to know how to participate in genuine spirited, knowledgeable argument about the US-Iraq war . An informed public exchanging honestly held points of view is at the core of a democracy. But! She does seem to know how to practice "truthiness."

Regurgitating what she's been told by those in power, believing everything she is told because it feels like it should be true.
Watch the exchange for yourself here.

We link, you decide. When you watch - I hope you'll pay attention to what is actually said on both sides, rather than indulging in the truthiness of your already steadfast beliefs.

Elisabeth's retorts remind me of the lyrics from a song in The King and I: "Very quickly will he fight/He'll fight to prove what he does. Not. Know. Is. So."

No matter whose corner you're in, the fact is that this daytime show - thanks to the irascible Rosie - is one of the few places where we can see real political ... chatter; I'm not sure it rises to the definition of debate.

Oh, most of those would-be pundants declared one of the two a winner the other a loser. But the only real losers are the American public because this is about as classy as public discussion gets about the subject here.

I hope you're checking out news from other nations to understand the extraordinary bias in American media coverage. The internet is rife with news from every corner of the world, most feature English versions of coverage in other languages.

It also helps if you speak more than one language in any occupation these days because of the international nature of the world economy.

Back home? I wish more of those would-be US analysts and pundants were investigating, reporting and debating the real issues concerning this horrific US-Iraq war - a war that has virtually destabilized the world - so we can know the genuine truth about the people who got us into it and explain honestly why our troops have not come home long ago.

Deadlines

When I worked more than full time as a mainstream media journalist in TV, radio and newspapers, my life was all about deadlines.

I would think far ahead to make the most of my available story gathering-writing-editing time before the deadline.

I was constantly thinking hours, days, weeks and even months ahead of the present time - especially for television news - to make certain I would be able to have all the elements of a story lined up, contact the right sources, get enough - and the correct - background information, shoot the right visuals, and so on.

Not for just one story, but several that I would be covering in the future.

In addition to doing the larger stories over a period of time, there were those on which I would report during the day. When, again, I would think ahead: I'd write and edit the story in my head before I was back at the station so I could barrel through, getting it done properly (sometimes my stories were a little visually/audio complex) with narration voiced, in time to build it in the program.

When I worked at combined TV/radio stations, I'd also file stories for the radio station.

I always enjoyed doing the lead story for TV newscasts, but of course that means the story has to be done *before* everyone else's stories get on the air! Which means I had less time to get it all together.

I *loved* my work, to be sure. I feel that pure journalism is a true and honorable calling.

But ... The management of news operations (commercial and non-commercial) drove me batty, so I left. Every time I took a job in radio or TV news, I felt like I lost IQ points. I can't afford to lose any, let alone many.

The same time line pressure of deadlines is true for newspapers, which also have their own serious management problems.

When I left journalism, the energy change was so great, my legs felt wobbly - as if I had been on a small boat for a long time and stepped onto land. I had to regain my land legs and start to think in real time. That took many months - and I couldn't help but note all the stories and information I found missing in newscasts--

But I digress.

While deadlines exist for every aspect of our lives - from anniversaries to graduation to taking tests to making dinner - it's as important, perhaps even more so, to think in real time and not create faux deadlines.

Old school Hollywood and lots of actors actually believe that if you haven't "made it" by the time you're 21, you are TOO OLD! I described a very talented actress to a long-established talent agent in Hollywood. He was very interested. Until I told him she was 27. "That's ancient here," he responded.

Well, guess what?

Another talent agent told me that the demand for *older* actors (30-60) was greater than the younger age category these days.

You are where you are. You are the age you are. If you're good - or better yet, great? You'll get work.

In short, while I love to live in the moment, making the most of every day? I don't see myself on some sort of living deadline, because face it - I could get whacked by a car any moment, and never see it coming.

It's all about that balance thing. What makes for your most fulfilling life? Go for it, and do it in a way that brings happiness to you and yours as you take the journey.

It is always, in all ways, the journey that matters and what will be remembered most fondly, not the destination. Reaching a goal only means the beginning of another journey.

Best laid plans

When I was a television news reporter in Seattle (believe it or not I ended up working at an unheard of four of the five television stations in the area!) - this time at the CBS affiliate - I had a great idea for a feature story.


An 83 year-young magician was closing his shop full of magician tricks and stuff for those who practice abracadabra. He also provided advice to his customers.


He had been in business for more than 50 years. The fact that he was still doing magic at his age, had been helping other up and coming magicians for all those years and told me he'd perform a couple of tricks for us would make for a sure-fire informative, entertaining segment for our audience, as well as give him props for his long-earned achievement.


The shop itself was pretty dark because it was so overloaded with sleight-of-hand products.


Every trick imaginable to a kid or pro magician was hanging somewhere.


I wondered how on earth he could possibly go out of business with all that stuff hanging everywhere.

OK, he did the "making a rabbit appear in an empty box" trick. Although he wouldn't share the secret of the trick in our interview? He performed it juuuuuust slowly enough to for us see to see how it worked for ourselves.

He did some other minor tricks for us, which I don't recall offhand, but I remember being intrigued and appreciating how passionate he was about his craft.

For my closing, I suggested that *I* perform a magic trick as well.

Great idea, huh?

Here's what happened:

I said, "You know, all this magic business is fun and entertaining, but being a journalist, I can't believe it's real. I--"

At this point I picked up a small vial with writing on it.

"Drink .. me .." I read aloud.

And drank the "liquid" (water), as instructed.

POOF! A puff of smoke, and I disappeared! Like magic!

My microphone remained dangling in midair as you heard me say (voice over).

"Yep. See? Can't believe everything you hear about magic. Colleen Patrick, Eyewitness News."

The piece got kudos from my peers, other station folks who got a peek at it before it aired and the boss! Cuuute! The magician is terrific - what a character!

OK. So it airs and we're all pleased that viewers will get another CP feature. Thank you, thank you. Ordinarily I did hard hitting stories, including some investigations.

But wait! There's more!

The *moment* the story finished airing, the station's dozen or so phone lines lit up in the reception area and our newsroom lines flickered as brightly!

Parents were FURIOUS at me!

Whaaaaaaaaaaa-?

Seems the moment I went "poof" and did not reappear, children all over the viewing area SCREAMED! They were terrified I really disappeared and wanted to know if I was all right. Where is she? What happened to her? Is she OK? Will she be back?

One caller was an irate dad: "What is wrong with you? Don't you know how many kids think they know you and care about you? My kid's going nuts!"

I had *no* idea viewers remembered who I was - I mean, seriously, how many TV reporters' names do you remember as an adult or a kid, unless they're a big network anchor or have their own show.

I spoke to his son, but that wasn't going to solve the problem.

They rushed me onto the set, interrupting the newscast, assuring kids who were concerned that I was just fine. I told them I "pulled myself together," and was back on the job. Not to worry. We also closed the newscast with me onhand as well, making sure to catch any viewers we may have missed.

If you were one of those kids?

Sorry I scared you. And thanks for caring.

Wanna be courageous?

Long ago I said "the way we deal with fear defines who we are. When abject fear strikes, the courageous or the coward immediately emerges."

As living people and as characters created by writers and actors.

When we find that nexus, where the fear hits the fan, we've defined the core of a person - created or real.

I love talking to my younger actors about this because I ask them, do you want to live in fear, or do you want to be courageous.

They *all* want to be courageous, of course!

So how do you do that?

Because we all hit the wall of fear, and often.

All we need to do is take action.

I don't mean to take a BIG action, because that it in itself will only generate more fear. I mean to take a little action. Tiny, even.

Asking a tiny question might be a good start. Like, "Why am I so afraid?" Just asking that question is taking a big, courageous step, because the answer is going to tell you exactly what action needs to be taken.

Say you're afraid to find out if the person you're dating really cares about you. You're afraid to outright ask because she or he might not care for you as much as you care for him or her. The thought of outright asking only generates more fear.

Honestly? If you have that fear? Um, you may be looking at your fear to look at the truth you know in your heart of hearts.

While you might be afraid of "losing" this person - trust me, living in the truth feels a heck of a lot better than being afraid of the (certain) future!

You have to trust your gut feeling. If something feels wrong, like something is missing or not being said, you need to find out why something feels wrong, what is missing, what is not being said.

You can take tiny actions that take you out of the fear, like ask a simple, single question that would give you an indication of what you are dealing with. Mind you, if your partner really cared about you or were genuinely functional, he or she would simply tell you instead of going into a turtle shell about .. whatever is actually going on.

Remember, when we are afraid to give someone bad news or tell the truth, it's never really about them, much as we want to believe it's about sparing their feelings. It's really about the fear of dealing with the perceived reaction of the other person to what we want to do or say.

The simple, single question to ask might be as short and clear and truthful as, "Something feels off with us. Are you afraid to tell me what's really going on?"

If it's "no," and they share, relieved that you've given the opening, you can prepare for the best - to learn what you need to help create a happy, functional relationship.

If it's "yes," they're afraid to tell you, you can prepare yourself for the worst, including how to communicate about the situation or problems, or make plans to move on, even if it hurts like hell. Who wants to be around someone who doesn't want to be with you? If you do, unfortunately, you appear desperate and massively self-esteem-less, even if you believe you are "meant for each other."

If you are facing a huge problem, how can you break it down into TINY particles to solve, rather than taking on the whole issue at once?

If you're facing a huge homework assignment, how can you break it down into TINY tasks you can complete, building up to the larger assignment completion.

If you're Captain Jack Sparrow, you can you protect yourself by taking on the weakest would-be assailant first (say, the wee monkey), before fighting the bigger guys. Or detect the weakness in an opponent before fighting his/her strengths (which, hopefully, you won't have to because you will have taken advantage of his weakness enough to outsmart, outwit and outfight him!).

Break it down.

And here's another secret: you can take a tiny action about something that has nothing to do with the problem to build your courage!

You can take an action you find simple or easy completely unrelated to what you find difficult, hurtful or challenging, and find that you feel more capable ... and courageous.

If it's a difficult thing you have to say to someone? Have the courage to tell the person honestly - without making honesty a weapon. What you may do is break down what you have to say in a way that makes you responsible for your own feelings and going for what you want without blaming anyone else; and prepare yourself for whatever response you receive.

Better to experience the pain of courage momentarily than live in the agony of fear and/or shame forever.

As our close literate buddy Will Shakespeare put it, "A coward dies a thousand deaths, the hero only one."

"Think big, act small"

Last night I attended a great graduation ceremony of Gene Juarez Academy of Cosmetology and Beauty students. I know several of the newly licensed and ready to go to work cosmetologists - fantastic women and men, all - and wanted to adding my support and applause to the large crowd of well-wishers.

The keynote speaker was the Education Director of Gene Juarez and he reminded us of the philosophy that most genuinely successful people have used to reach the top: think big, act small.

Meaning, make your dreams big, but remember it's all about the basics.

In this case, you can dream of having a beauty salon empire, but remember your first duty is the person for whom you're caring in the chair. Making them look more beautiful than when they came in, making them feel beautiful when they leave.

In this industry I see too many people thinking big - and acting big when they actually are not. Having big dreams is totally fine - but representing yourself as if you are big in the industry when you are not? Um, not a good idea. Sooner or later, everyone knows the truth.

It's all about having the vision to create a motion picture - perhaps wanting to make several. That's the thinking big part. After that? It's down to the basics of filmmaking: the writing - script - and all the skills it takes to make a good motion picutre, like acting, directing, script supervisor, director of photography, gaffer (lighting), props, costume, hair, make-up, set design and dressing, the music/composer, editing, post production and more.

Sometimes people come into towns (Seattle's been hit a couple times!), saying that they are big film industry people casting for a big motion picture - and if you pay them a certain amount of money to be seen by the "casting director" you'll get a shot at being in the big film!

Casting directors do not charge money to audition people.

For some reason, gullible wannabe's don't check the outfit scamming them. Fortunately, some reporters get suspicious and blow their scheme - but usually only after hundreds of people have forked over their hard-earned money. And it's too late to get their money back. In most cases, the scammers have skipped town by the time the news hits.

OK, that was a digression.

You know what I mean.

Think big, act small.

Go for what you really want, no matter how outrageously out of your grasp it seems today - just remember the basics of your craft, relationship skills and hard work are your best success-building tools.

R u a romantic?

The thing about romantics is that they want things to be different than they really are.

They want things to be the way they want them to be. The way they feel they *should* be.

You know, romantics actually believe Cinderella is swept off her feet by Prince Charming and they live happily ever after -- even though they're missing a few (million) crucial steps to create a functional relationship.

Nothing wrong with wishing things could turn out that way though, eh? But believing that something should turn out a certain way because it's so romantic? Um, that's the recipe for a life rife with disappointment, I'm afraid.

But! It can be constructive or destructive romanticism.

Here's how it's destructive:

Like when we're first ga-ga over our someone new and special. We view that person through "rose colored glasses." Which means we don't see them the way they really are, or future trip about him/her enough to realize that those little habits and quirks we find so cute and cuddly now can feel like nails scraping a chalk board in only a matter of months.

That's romantic.

The realist in these situations is seen as hard, harsh, unromantic or even unfeeling. Not true!

The fact is the realist falls in love with the real person, not who they want the other person to be, not someone to "complete them," not someone to mother or smother them with love.

All too frequently a control freak is experienced in the beginning by a romantic as someone who cares so much about us they try to make things "right" for us. Isn't that sweet? Actually, no. Been there, done that!

The guy who seems so straight up, cute and smart - when googled? Turns out to have a myspace page full of brags about his drunken outings, crazy driving stories while smoking bud, descriptions of outsmarting the police and a list of "girls I'd like to bang."

Likewise, that down to earth girl next door-type you want to date? When googled? Turns out to have a myspace page full of photos featuring her nearly nude, suggestions of throwing open s&m parties, is irate that she was just fired from her job at McDonald's for being late every day ("What? They didn't party when they were kids?"), yadda yadda yadda, and at 25 she's been divorced twice.

Good idea to google your date these days, no matter how romantic. If you're really concerned? It's easy to get a criminal background check on anyone - just go to your stat patrol's website and for $10, they check for pedophile activity - for $25, they check for all criminal activity.

It may feel creepy to do these sorts of things if your new paramour's stories just don't add up, s/he's gone all the time, etc. But it's way better than having your heart broken and your bank account drained by some slob who doesn't care about you in the first place!

As for the "constructive" romantic:

These people envision things the want they want them to be in the future. Politics, art, culture, education, religion.

The Declaration of Independence is a romantic document. Declaring a nation where truth means we are all created equally, and entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

It is that promise that makes the US so appealing - why everyone wants to come here. They may hate George Bush and US policies, but they love that promise.

And promises are romantic notions because so many of them are broken. Even when they're written contracts - signed and dated.

But so many - including me - have put on a uniform, willing to fight and die for my nation that has such a romantic notion. A notion I still believe in but have been greatly disillusioned along the way by the people who are supposed to be leading us toward those goals. They seem today to be leading us directly away from them.

I think perhaps reading that Declaration of Independence daily, before they start their workday, is something our politicians, government employees and school children may want to do, just to remind them what we're actually supposed to be working toward.

Romance itself is another subject entirely.

Romance is expressing love in a special way you love to show it.

Doing things with your paramour they love to do or doing things they want you to do is the best part of romance.

Writing notes is a loving thing to do - Sarah Jessica Parker says that she and husband Matthew Broderick do that for one another and each one is special.

Giving someone that special candy they love, the book they've been meaning to buy for months, a coupon for something they need to have done or would enjoy - all expressions of love because to be the right gift - we have to listen to the one we love in order to know what they want.

In short, a romantic deals with a notion, something that doesn't exist, but that s/he wants to materialize in reality. I can dream, wish and work to have the US live up to its Declaration of Independence promise - but it remains a promise nonetheless.

Romance is a fact, a reality. I give you a card. A poem. Sing you a song. Write you a blog. Train your dog. Wash your hair. It's an action we can see, hear, smell, taste, feel.

So for the addled romantic? I wish you a day of happiness with a dash of reality.

My hope for everyone else is a day of romance, with you receiving as many loving gestures as you give - including the romantic wish that your personal truth includes the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness!

Gains and losses

There are two primary ways to approach what we want and how we live:

Short term gain, long term loss

or

Short term loss, long term gain

An example of short term loss, long term gain is education or training. It's an investment of time, money, focus, energy, homework and extra research if you love what you're learning.

The payoff is that the training can set you up in a career you pursue happily the rest of your life; or it can prepare you for advanced training to allow you to do what you love the rest of your life. Artists live with this mentality. Spiritualists live this way. Those pursuing their dreams and doing what they love live like this.

In business, it's research and development (R&D) that is the short term loss (expenditure). Or giving workers additional education to enhance their knowledge of the job in order to keep them up to date, understanding the state of the art options or to maintain its competitive edge.

It's also taking a share of the profits and mining them back into the company in the form of enhancing the workplace, training, giving deserving workers raises, or increasing the quality of the product. Or having a company stock sharing policy.

These practices make not only for loyal employees who work hard, but who are proud of their industry - what they produce - and in turn a consumer base that wants to buy what you sell.

In acting, it's carefully choosing your roles so that your audience grows to trust your choice of projects. Think of the actors whose films and shows you are sure to watch because you know they only do projects that are great - projects you know you'll love to watch.

Interestingly, once that actor is in a real clunker, who appeared to do the movie just for the money or whose script was a real stink bomb? That decision is a short term gain with a long term loss.

That trust is broken, and you will now be much more careful to check out whether the film is really any good, because that actor has made a decision with a short term gain ($$$) and long term loss. Lots of fans won't show up just because that actor is in the film after the icky project they just saw you in and paid all that money.

Going to a film is expensive if you get anything to eat; especially for a family outing!

And that is the cost of short term gain, long term loss mentality: doing a lousy film for money instead of loving the character, the script or the project itself.

This "short term gain, long term loss" philosophy will be the undoing of capitalism because it ultimately results in cheating, cutting corners, greed and a lifestyle that creates a false belief in what we "need" to be successful - or to even appear to be successful. Because its motto is based solely on the bottom line, on profit, rather than a healthy relationship inside the company and with it's consumers - it's "more" - not "better."

Jobs are always insecure - the hope is that because of this fear, employees will work that much harder to remain in even the most menial job.

I'll never forget working for a TV station whose greed was unparalleled. The company chiefs would seek out single mothers for crucial but menial and administrative assistant jobs that paid little, because they knew these women would work very hard and not rock any boats because they needed the jobs and money so badly. And they were right. I'm sure this is true for anyone responsible for raising children, men or women.

One company that defies all the "modern" desperate bottom line business practices and continues to be astoundingly successful is SC Johnson. Continuing to seek better quality in its well established products as well as work to satisfy customers with new products to make our lives healthier, cleaner and safer at a reasonable cost, SC Johnson takes pride in treating its loyal employees respectfully, as well as showing appreciation for their hard work in material ways.

Just so you know I have *no* connection whatsoever with the company and they have *no* idea who I am - and I didn't learn this from any self-serving propaganda or advertising. I've heard about their practices from other (envious) business executives very familiar with them and people who know the employees.

Contrarily, Enron was a short term gain (profit, profit, profit), long term loss company. In fact, just about every time you read where a company that was so "hot" just months ago has just gone under, leaving customers stuck without their goods or services, you're looking at a company that tried to make too much, too soon.

Especially when they try to spread themselves too thin. Now, creating new branches may appear to be a short term loss (investment) for a long term gain outcome, but if it's done to make as much money as possible as soon as possible? Whoopsie.

Company growth carefully planned to make certain the home office continues to be strong as well as each new office/branch is definitely a short term loss, long term gain practice.

On the other hand, massive expansion that starts the ol' buying out more and more companies, pushing the new acquisitions to make more and more profits without regard for product or employees ... run into a brick wall. They are forced to realize despite their best efforts, they can't squeeze blood out of a turnip. Sooner or later, even though the company may try to convince everyone they're producing blood - we'll all find out, sooner or later, it's really just weak turnip juice.

Meanwhile, the executives of the turnip juice company have sold off all their stocks, stolen millions, and put their ill-gotten gains into offshore accounts which can neither be found nor taxed. So they have to spend a couple years in jail? The money is available to their families and will be there for them when they get out.

Short term gain, long term loss creates a shaky future. It's basic economics.

Addicts live this way.

Greed can become addictive if the appearance of having lots of money is experienced by others as looking "successful." Business folks who live only to please stockholders through profit gains live this way. People who endanger their marriages by having affairs live this way. People who want to manipulate someone into having a relationship or marriage live this way - it's not the relationship itself and the welfare of both people that's most important, but rather the appearance of a relationship with a particular person. This happens to lots of high profile and wealthy people who are vulnerable and targeted by those who want to share their high profile, money or perhaps just be with them for security.

The hope was that capitalism could be practiced with at least a modicum of integrity and dignity. Ebeneezer Scrooge was the exception, not the rule back in the day, right? Good businesspeople are the salt of the earth. They provide a good service or product at a reasonable price and have terrific customer service because they are part of the community in which they take pride and their goal is not to become rich quick but to practice the business they love the rest of their lives in a community they love, or until they grow too old to be efficient. Short term loss, long term gain folks, them.

Today it's all too often the case that businesses are set up to make as much money as possible so the folks involved can get rich quick and move on. Short term gain, long term loss of the business but they see it as long term gain for the money they will live off. Problem is, just having money to live off of is a pretty empty life.

Here's something else I've realized: kids who are taught to get good grades rather than focus on learning, experience a short term gain, long term loss. If you're working only to get the grade, you're learning how to work the system rather than really learn what will help you when you start working or go to advanced training for a career, college, or whatever you'd love to pursue.

The same is true of teaching kids how to take tests rather than actually learn what they need to in order to have a fulfilling life, work or make choices based on knowledge rather than guessing.

*Most* of the hundreds of people I've coached over the years have said the *one* thing they regret in their lives is that they didn't learn more while they were in school. They figured out how to get the grade, then spent the rest of their time doing anything other than homework or making the most of their learning opportunities.

Definitely short term gain, long term loss living.

Me? I'm a short term loss, long term gain kinda girl. And that long term gain period actually starts much sooner than you'd think - because what I do in the short term is so rewarding while I build for an exceptional long term gain that is lasting the rest of my life.

What is your mindset?

Short term gain, long term loss?

or

Short term loss, long term gain?

"Letting go"

One of my actors and I got into a great discussion about the notion of "letting go."

So often, when we face an emotional dilemma, we're told to simply "let go." Or "let it go."

Easier said than done.

I've found that when we attempt to only "let go," we can try to repress or push away our feelings, but residual resentments still build and one day come back in a way we sorely wish they would not! It's as if we've given ourselves a surprise attack because we had no idea all that anger, resentment or hurt was building. We thought we had "let go."

Even visualizing negative thoughts disappearing into the stratosphere, putting them in packages and letting them float downstream or using some other imagined releasing metaphor can still result in those negative thoughts bouncing right back when we least expect them.

Again, this can be infuriating, since we thought we had somehow dealt with the issue - that we had "let it go."

But there it is again, rearing its ugly head.

Here's what I suggested to my actor:

Deal with the issue that makes us feel helpless, fearful or hurt in a way that empowers you, rather than passively trying to "let go."

For example, say you're angry because you're part of a production that, while touted to be a great experience, turns out to be unprofessional, run by someone who actually doesn't know what they're doing - and who won't collaborate and the script stinks. You know what will "fix" the show but they refuse to listen to anyone; it's an ego trip for the folks putting on the show - who are writing, directing and performing in it.

Meanwhile, you're a professional actor surrounded by wannabes who chat and laugh during rehearsals and don't even show up with their lines learned.

While tickets to the show are expensive, none of the actors will be paid, but the unprofessional people "producing" the show will be.

Like, OUCH!

Totally.

And you've been advised to "just let it go," show up for work and keep your mouth shut. Show up for a dozen rehearsals so you can perform in a production that will probably be poorly reviewed and poorly received by audiences.

Because, face it - the script sucks. And those in charge refuse to change a word.

You are pissed.

Do you continue to resent every moment you spend with this endeavor, building anger and bitterness, or do you empower yourself to get back on track to your usual positive outlook and strong self-worth?

O....K. Time for a hearty dose of Coach CP's Esteem Elixir!

Despite the long list of complaints?

Don't be dissuaded or distracted by all the stuff that doesn't matter. Remember we have primary feelings of love and fear. Fear, or fear and hurt=anger.

The *real* issue is that you're being treated disrespectfully (OW!). And unprofessionally (OW!). You - and your potentially face-saving ideas (fear of making a fool of yourself in this stinker) - are rudely discounted as an actor (OW!) and a contributing member of the troupe (OW!). Which in turn makes you feel excluded (OW! - again). All of which=anger.

Identifying those feelings of hurt, fear and anger is the most important part of the empowering process.

You're hurt, angry and fearful that your career is about to get a big ol' bump on the nose because you made the choice to be part of this wacko show without doing enough research on the production team.

Love and fear cannot co-exist at the same moment.

So let's get you back into the love/courage/high self-esteem column.

The first good vibe? A valuable lesson learned. Getting cast for a project (or offered a position) doesn't mean you have to accept the job. Check out the folks doing it. Read the script - and know enough to recognize a bum one, and make sure about what sort of working situation you're becoming part of.

Good vibe#2: Look around - have you learned something from anyone in the group? Something about yourself? Your profession? Acting? Production? Your goals? Your career? Your craft? Chances are you have.

Good vibe #3: Understand you have choices in this situation. Acting, as any art is all about choices.

If it's not too late, you can actually leave the production. Chances are they cast anyone who work free, so your reputation as a pro won't suffer if you hit the road with this group. The question is whether you are a person who wants to see something through to the end, no matter what you have to suffer through - or if there are enough perks to make it worth your while.

The empowering part is that you realize you have the choice. Whatever you decide - stay or go - you are in charge of you. Not them.

I suggest people ask themselves three questions before they decide to accept or not accept a gig: 1. is it good for me personally? 2. is it good for me professionally? 3. is it just a boatload of fun?

In order to accept the gig, you must answer yes to two of those questions.

Looking back, which *two* of these questions can you say "yes" to?

Uh-huh.

Let's see how many of the three you say "absolutely!" to:

Professionally? - no
Personally? - not unless you made a new best friend among the troupe
Fun? -um, absolutely not

At this point, whatever you decide? You should feel good about yourself again, back on track - your anger completely dissipated.

That's how the Phoenix rises from the ashes!

Good luck!

(Gentle Reader - I'll let you know what the actor decided after s/he makes the decision!)

Why do you create?

Something I have found to be too true, unfortunately, too many times in this industry (the biz of show), is that when writers and other great artists gain a degree of what others consider "success," particularly financial success, they forget why they started writing or creating in the first place. Why they were motivated to write that fantastic book or screenplay, act brilliantly in a fine film.

With the assistance of agents and others in the industry, the initial desire to create great, original stories and characters is replaced with the urgent need to create "what sells."

It happens to a lot of people who start out with lofty and noble intentions in just about any field - journalists, corporate executives, lawyers, politicians, actors, doctors, pharmaceutical researchers, educators.

Despite the promises made at the beginning of the new job, systems within which writers, directors, and other artists find themselves working tend to become restrictive, blocking creativity, innovation, an enterprising spirit and the belief one can make a difference within the working structure.

That working structure is generally in the form of a corporation.

But in the end, when we make the choice to work for the dollar rather than consistently improve our work, trade, craft or art - it can lead to significant unhappiness because we are no longer being true to ourselves.

Under these forces, what we end up creating can a sort of artistic identity crisis.

Artists can feel manipulated in the very place they believe they should be given the freedom to become all they can become and do all they can do. And then end up believing they need to stay in order to survive and support their families.

One way to prevent getting into this sort of conundrum is to be certain we get positions with good, enforceable contracts; that we not live "above our means," and that we select carefully the people with whom we work. People who are as dedicated and committed to quality production as we are, with the same work ethic.

I also know some very successful writers who chose to write pop - not so "artistic" scripts that made lots of money for their producers so they can write quality work as they make their way up the industry food chain.

Here's the deal: if you know what to expect - as these likable, smart, knowledgeable writers did - you can come into the industry prepared to succeed on your own terms.

If you come in naive, without understanding how the industry works - and doesn't work - you're in for a harsh surprise and can be disillusioned, angry and distracted from your real work. In short - be sure to study what it takes to succeed in whatever art you are pursuing so your chances of making it - again, on your own terms because you understand how the system works - are greatly enhanced.

Don't get me wrong - it's not like the successful writers worked with smoke and mirrors and slept their way to the top - ;-) - they *know* very well how to write. But as they worked hard on their craft, they also investigated the workplace they were entering. Both sides are crucial to your success.

This philosophy holds true in whatever vocation you choose!

"Hate" speech

People who indulge in hate speech apparently feel they must to camouflage the lack of credible information or evidence to make their point - not to mention their logic is MIA.

They try to get us all wound up, irate and generally pissed off at someone rather than inform or empower us.

They also indulge in a lot of nasty name-calling, trying to incite us to hate whom they hate.

I've only listened to Rush Limbaugh once - and that was enough. He called - at the time - First Lady Hillary Clinton all sorts of hideously disrespectful, scathing, needlessly mean names. I'd never heard a First Lady ever called such reprehensible names, and he gave not even one sound reason for his personal attack.

I had a feeling his listeners who were addled by his emotional manipulation probably felt by the end of his tirade they hated her, too.

I'm always suspicious of people who want to - or try to - influence me to hate people. Why would they? Why should I waste any of my life's time hating? I don't want to live that way, and I guess I believe there's always something I can do about something that makes me angry.

I think people who hate feel powerless. And take their bitterness over feeling powerless out on others.

I understand how information can provoke anger, espeically if I feel helpless to do anything about what I'm hearing. It can also move me to want to take action or seek more information so I can figure out something to stop feeling helpless about whatever is upsetting me.

That's why I include so many links here - so you can find more facts for yourself, do your own research, make up your own mind and take action if you're moved to do something.

I think in many cases truth is in the mind of the beholder, but when people choose to lie and manipulate over and over in order to wield power and mold opinion based on an ideology, false promises and outright lies, it becomes a great concern for me.

Especially when they lie so cavalierly, as if no one will ever hold them accountable for their actions as they exploit innocent people and finagle the "system." These folks generally believe they are above the law - and tend to get away with a lot for a long time until karma - and their own hubris catch up with them.

Making a game of toying with the minds, hearts and lives of others is a symptom of such extraordinary dysfunctional, controlling personalities.

Unfortunately, those who accept what those ill-willed manipulaters say at face value are later horrified they ever believed them to begin with. All because they believed people who did not deserve their trust.

And those who act as henchmen for those haters are usually the very people who end up bitter and angry when the truth comes out and they are exposed and remembered for the liars and criminals they really are.

There will always be some who want to walk in lock step with those who foment hatred for any reason, be it bigotry, political gain, money, profit, power, control, or some gain that is not earned but stolen.

Those who do that work from a basis of fear. They are frightened little people, terrified someone will discover who they really are inside - and what motivates them.

They are frequently blinded by some sort of greed - be it fame, money, power, an ideology. They snort and carry on, usually loudly, bullying others to distract anyone from getting personal or close enough to discover who they really are. Scared. Pathetic. Sad.

I'd feel badly for them if they weren't so incredibly destructive - whether they're the out of control temperamental bosses or the shock jocks who need to dominate others to feel powerful.

History is full of them - and all it takes to stop them is someone standing up to them.

Asking them why they yell.

Why they have the need to hurt and hate.

Senator Joseph McCarthy is a good example. A drinking alcoholic throughout his years in congress, he died hopelessly alcoholic after wrecking havoc in the lives of thousands upon thousands of innocent Americans because he had the innate need to feel powerful by inciting fear and hatred instead of seeking truth and justice.

Some history re-writers and politcal manipulaters trying to create hate have actually "found the light" - by being exposed or because they found they could not live with themselves and written books in which they confessed their illegal or (very) dirty politics.

In the end, it is perhaps not so much the hate monger but the stander-by who allows these campaigns to get out of hand.

Martin Luther King Jr. said that it would not be the enemies who foster hatred we remember with regret, but all those who stood at the sidelines in the presence of injustice and did nothing.

Try a little tenderness

Seems to me that a lot of us are pretty hard on ourselves.

We don't feel we live up to our expectations, life isn't turning out the way we hoped or expected, why can't we do this or that -- or if we can do this or that, why can't we do it faster, higher, lower, wha-evah.

So how about giving ourselves a great big break.

And a little tenderness.

Touch something - oh, so lightly; tenderly.

Your desk, computer, shirt.

Barely making contact with your fingertips, rub it oh, so slightly; tenderly.

And imagine being that gentle with your heart. Your being, your soul.

Take a deep breath. Let it go.

Treat yourself as kindly as you would someone for whom you care deeply.

Feel yourself open to the world, inhale more powerfully, be in closer touch with yourself and the world.

Maybe just for today, consider yourself, your body, soul and mind precious. And watch others treat you the way you project.

Imagine ....

You have just one year left to live. 12 months.

What would you do?

How?

Why?

This is the first exercise I gave to a group of actors, a broadcast journalist and stand-up comedian I coach who attended a camera performing/career workshop I held over the weekend.

After sharing the plans he made for his "remaining time," one of my actors said, "I realized as I wrote my list -- why should I wait to do these things?"

Exactly.

Good job!

It started the gathering on just the right note, intensifying everyone's resolve to work hard and get the most out of the day. When they left, they were exhausted from the tsunami of information and tasks.

Our futures are created now. This very second.

Drama queens

With all the fake drama on big and little screens, as well as real drama going on in the world - the war in Iraq, one child dies in the world every 3 seconds from starvation and preventable diseases, the pathetic job done by the federal government rebuilding New Orleans, the lack of health care for millions of Americans and billions of people around the globe - it always amazes me when I see people creating completely unnecessary drama in their lives.

Gossip, spreading rumors - true and not true, betraying friends, lying, controlling others willing to be controlled, creating unnecessary conflict and wreaking havoc where there was none. All ways to create faux drama that unfortunately, actually dramatically affects and generally hurts others, sooner or later.

Including the drama queen himself or herself when he or she is found to be responsible for upending a life or two for no reason other than fear of losing control.

You can spot the drama queen because he or she usually moves in serial cliques, where he or she is seen as the Queen Bee. When the drama queen's mind games are discovered by the current clique and the DQ is rejected, it's time to move on to the next clique rather than understand what s/he needs to learn to stop this negative, hurtful behavior.

Interestingly, many drama queens aren't defined as drama queens because they appear to be so normal. Even attractive.

That's why I think it's great that Susan was finally unveiled as a drama queen on Desperate Housewives. She simply appeared to constantly be in a state of consternation over one romance or another. But in reality, she - and her drama queeniness (think: truthiness) - was the source of most of that broohaha.

Her need to maintain control of situations and other people in an effort to keep them from getting too close - and also to feel that good old familiar adrenaline rush when she pulls the strings to other people's lives, making her own more exciting.

The tough part comes when we feel we're to blame for all the craziness - the easy part comes when we realize who is *actually* responsible!

I prefer confining my drama to my scripts; my work is exciting enough for two people; my personal life is as boring as dishwater and I love it that way. Somehow, we still seem to stay pretty happy around here.

As I've pointed out so many times, all that stuff you see on the screens - big and little - might be intriguing and even funny entertainment at that distance, but it is absolutely no fun close up in real life! Me, I prefer to have fun in my personal and professional relationships.

Huh?

Six fundamentalist Islamics and would-be terrorists from the Middle East and Yugoslavia .. in the US illegally .. were arrested this month in New Jersey when two of them tried to buy AKC automatic machine guns. They planned to kill as many people as possible at US Army base Fort Dix.

One of the men delivered pizzas to the base and told the group he knows Fort Dix "like the back of my hand."

They had been plotting the attack for some 16 months, according to New Jersey U.S. Attorney Christopher J. Christie.

Thanks to a local video store employee, the six were identified, followed by law enforcement and two paid informers infiltrated the group. The clerk was asked to transfer a video to DVD showing ten men preparing for the attack and making anti-US statements. The clerk reported them immediately.

The group had been watching tapes of terrorist activities and one of the 9-11 suicide-hijackers speaking to a camera to inspire others to commit themselves to "the jihad."

"Jihad" actually means a holy cause, not war, but terrorists consider killing themselves and all "non-believers" a holy cause, which is why they call their acts of terrorism jihad.

Suicide bombers are treated like rock stars among "believers," and make tapes of themselves to show how dedicated they are to Allah and how they look forward to the good fortune they will enjoy when they die - hooking up with all those virgins, yanga yanga yanga. Families of suicide bombers are frequently given large sums of money for sacrificing their lives to the cause of killing.

While fundamentalist Islamics are among those who entreat followers to kill "non-believers" and themselves in order to do that, mainstream Muslims the world over are starting to speak up, insisting that terrorists have hijacked their religion to carry out their own particular political agendas.

Now, here's my problem with what politicians have said after exposing the plot and arresting the six defendants - who are actually considered "far from hard core" terrorists by law enforcement officials:

Republican presidential wannabe Rudy Giuliani said that, literally, if you vote Democratic, you're going to die from terrorist acts. Republicans will protect us.

Uh-huh.

Other typical ultra right-wing wackos have said the same. A vote for a Democrat is a vote for inviting terrorism in the US, especially if we bring our troops home from Iraq. Riiiiight.

You know, they're using the old illogical argument that we need to fight 'em over there, so we don't have to fight 'em right here at home.

If you read my recent blog about this bizarre assertion, you know that fewer than 4% of those fighting the US in Iraq are associated with al-qaeda.

Terrorists don't need to be in Iraq because the Iraqis and now infiltrating Iranians are doing their work for them: keeping our soldiers busy being caught in the crossfire of a civil war between the Sunnis and Shiites (who have been warring for some 1,300 years) and fighting previously peaceful Iraqis who have grown to hate the US because - gosh - more than half a million innocent Iraqis have been killed since the US invaded, and US soldiers are now blamed for destroying their country.

Hmmmmm.

So the question has to be why we're there to begin with, losing nearly 3,400 American lives with tens of thousands of our soldiers injured or maimed. What was the goal to begin with? More and more, the real answer appears to be to get our hands on their oil.

To all those who claim that the Republicans are strong on defense and security?

The six would-be terrorists - and who knows how many others who are not stupid enough to take a video of themselves practicing killing people to a video store for transfer - made their way into this country across who knows which border, port or train - on the Bush/Republican watch.

When they entered the country, Republicans and Bush had complete domination of the White House, Congress and Judicial branches.

Democrats didn't get any clout until the election was held several months after the pizza delivering terrorist had free reign to move around Fort Dix - where they train troops to fight in the Middle East.

Is this even starting to make sense?

The most serious questions:

Why are we not devoting our resources to flushing out Ben Laden and al qaeda -- those actually and vocally (proudly) responsible for killing thousands of people (many of whom were Muslim and non-American) on American soil September 11, 2001 (when Bush and the Republicans again had total control in the White House and congress) instead of fighting in Iraq.

Why do so many security loopholes remain in our borders and ports?

Why have we gone so deeply in debt to fight the war in Iraq - borrowing billions from our "good friend" China - without a specific goal or end to the battles in sight?

Are we sending tens of thousands more American soldiers to Iraq to be cannon fodder?

Three former US generals who were military leaders in Iraq - at least one of whom resigned in protest of what he considers President Bush's misuse of military personnel in Iraq - are featured on television ads now, stating plainly that President Bush has placed our nation at risk, that he is destroying our Army and Marine Corps and is needlessly costing us lives in a war we have no business fighting.

He does not mention to the vast destruction to the nation of Iraq itself and the hundreds of thousands of innocent Iraqis killed because we are there. He is only talking about his concerns of what he considers the dismantling of our army and marine corps - his area of expertise.

Still, Bush sends more soldiers over - making them work far past their legal commitment and enlistment agreement. Not giving them the proper breaks between being sent to the front lines. It's no wonder so many of our brave women and men are coming home with post traumatic stress disorder - only to find too few resources to help them when they return.

Meanwhile, we don't have enough military personnel in the US to address disasters here in the US - whether it's from the horror in Louisiana, Mississippi and other states from Katrina or recent hurricanes in the Midwest and other domestic disasters.

In case you don't know - I am an Air Force veteran and am astounded at the decisions that have been made about the use of our military, our continuing security loopholes and other problems that appear to be overlooked because we have concentrated so many resources in a nation that was never a threat to our country or borders to begin with.

I'm delighted Saddam Hussein is history - but the "threat" he was to anyone outside Iraq and the Middle East was no greater than other leaders in other Middle Eastern nations and certainly far less than Ben Laden and al qaeda, sitting tightly in Afghanistan and Pakistan with the notorious Taliban, who are working to gain a foothold there again.

Expect the Republican rhetoric to skyrocket the closer we get to the election. I mean it is going to get nasty. I mean you won't know real nasty until you witness this coming election.

Because they don't want Democrats coming into the White House to witness the shambles Bush has made of the US Presidency, and the evidence he will leave behind of all the other *extraordinary* errors of judgement he made during his tenure.

Republicans would come in with a CYA attitude, wanting to clean up Bush's mess without any public notice. And believe me, they will desperately want to be sure they are in a position to take care of the mess left in his wake.

Democrats would definitely - to a degree - expose what they find. They can't afford to expose too much evidence of the Bush travesty because it would make the government and our two- party system appear to be broken.

Now the question is whether the Democrats have the stomach and stamina to stand up to all the right wing bravado, fear mongering, dishonesty and dirty politics. Take special notice of who counts the votes.

And whether Americans care enough to get involved with the election to make sure the nation gets back on track - working for the ideals and promises pledged by our constitution and Bill of Rights.

Ooooooooooo.... *secrets!*

What is it with people who are so "secretive?"

Or at least try to be.

We somehow always find out what's going on, anyway.

Like the person in the office that everyone *knows* is gay but who pretends to be straight. How painful is that?

Or the couple having the affair who insist they are "just friends." Yeeeeeeeah, right.

Or the dog who swears he wasn't in the garbage while he sits with last night's dinner dangling from his mouth.

It's like lying by omission rather than commission - and the ramifications can be unnecessarily painful for themselves and the people around them.

For most, it's a way to maintain some sort of control of other people and to prevent them from getting close - profoundly close. These folks generally sabotage relationships that start to be too "real." Too intimate - not necessarily sexual, but genuinely positive and close.

I mean, these people claim to be "private" but it feels more to me like they are afraid of sharing who they are. Emotionally parsimonious.

Like a story I wrote long ago called The Feelings Miser. It was about a massively disfigured old woman who tried desperately to conceal her feelings, making her uglier with every feeling she concealed from others - and herself.

She also became more and more desperate to control all those feelings. She caught them before they escaped, shoved them in corners, compartmentalized them, categorized her emotions by color and then locked them away.

Until one day a little girl innocently discovered a feeling the gnarly-fingered woman tried to hide from her - but not soon enough!

The little girl told the old woman she must feel very bitter.

The old woman imploded!

Realizing that even though barely a dollop of her "secret" world of feelings had been exposed, she started to feel vulnerable, scared, fearful, and was suddenly incapable of withholding any of them back! All the colors she had hidden away for all that time escaped from underneath her large black dress - from the area of her heart.

A massive streak of every color with every hue imaginable flew around the room, filling it with ribbons of emotions she had been holding so closely, terrified of showing her real self to anyone.

Interestingly, as her tears fell, as she laughed and cursed and loved and showed every emotion she had attempted to conceal - the gnarled old woman grew younger ... and beautiful! More, she was so excited and happy to not just own and experience her feelings but to share them!

She was amazed at the sheer beauty of every shade she experienced that permeated every inch of the chamber.

The little girl squealed with delight, clapping her hands gleefully.

From that day on, the little girl and woman shared their feelings and secrets, filling their lives with meaning and significance, after which they blew emotion bubbles, which always made them smile, no matter how serious, sad or bleak the feelings they shared that day.
_________

I know people who clutch their emotions and stories so tightly even standing next to them they feel as if they are a tick away from bursting.

But they are too afraid to talk about the feelings that ensnare their minds and lives, preventing them from connecting with others in a healthy, fulfilling way.

I hope one day they appreciate how enjoyable life can be when they release all that pent up emotion, letting everyone around them know who they are - and just what fantastic people they can be - or already are.

Surrender, Dorothy ....

So the Wicked Witch of the West sky-wrote with her broom in The Wizard of Oz.

I've been thinking about the importance - and danger - of "surrender."

Healthy surrender occurs when we maintain our personal power, self control and sense of responsiblity -- and allow ourselves to open ourselves freely to love, to trusting someone trustworthy, to our art and craft, to the character we portray if we're acting, to a spiritual essence we allow to envelope us to feel safe and protected, or when we give up on a cause that is clearly lost in order to regain control.

Healthy surrender is strong, sensitive, loving, constructive, protective and productive. It enhances our lives.

When we laugh? We surrender to the humor we allow ourselves when we are open to perceive and experience it.

When we cry? We succumb to our deepest feelings of sadness, or disbelief, or joy, or appreciation.

Unhealthy surrender occurs when we release or turn over our personal power to someone or something, reliquishing our personal responsibility to them. The result is allowing the object of our unhealthy surrender to control us - and literally victimize us.

That "object" to which we surrender, that we allow to control us can come in the form of a religion, a person, an addiction, a negative feeling or scene we replay over and over again - refusing to release it and move on.

As important as it is to surrender - and it is important - the *way* in which we surrender, and to whom is even moreso.

How we see ourselves

Poet Robert Burns wrote:

Ah, wad some power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as others see us!

Seems to me that lots of people care more about how they *believe* others see them rather than how all those eyes actually see - or perceive - them.

Ever asked those "other people" how they view you? Experience you? Think about you?

How much does it matter? What does it matter? Why does it matter?

Some people are nearly obsessed with how they want others to think about them; they work very hard to make certain others view them in a certain way.

Instead of being themselves and pursuing what makes them unique and special and - possibly - different, they mold their appearance and behavior to present themselves in that specific way that they believe will be most acceptable to those they want to impress or with whom they want to connect.

Thing is, no matter how hard they try to be perceived in a specific way, the sorry fact is that we have absolutely no control - or way of knowing how anyone is actually viewed - by anyone.

Think about it.

The same person who is someone's hero is another person's zero.

The same person who is drop-dead beautiful to one person isn't all that attractive to someone else.

In short, no matter what we do, no matter how hard we try, there we are. Just who we are.

It's no secret: the reason we attempt to avoid letting people know who we are is a lack of self-esteem, shame -- all sorts of (generally unnecessary) sad and dysfunctional reasons.

All of which, in the end, leaves the pretender alone and lonely because they don't want anyone to know who they only believe they are.

For in the end, because of their emphasis on other people's viewpoint and opinions?

The only person they would know the least - is themselves.