Colleen's thoughts on writing, directing and coaching, and her unique take on life itself!

Saturday, March 03, 2007

The "early" deaths of former playmates

There were several stories in the media recently about many former Playboy playmates who died young.

From drug overdoses, alcohol abuse, homicides, a plane crash, car accidents and other ostensibly preventable misfortunes.

One of the men who photographed the women blamed their tragic early deaths on their beauty.

"It's a curse to be beautiful," he said.

Um, no.

Beauty is not a curse. Their beauty did not kill them.

What killed them was emptiness. Emptiness they tried to fill with drugs, alcohol, sex or whatever else they were "famous" for.

When people are heralded for their looks and sexuality, that does not a fulfilling life make.

Looks change greatly with age, sexuality can be enjoyed in the moment, but it's not something one can build a life on. A career? Maybe. But not a life.

Because they've been so feted for doing *nothing* - except showing up, they usually don't understand how much trouble their soul and personal identity are in until they run into one of life's brick walls that they - unbelievably - did not see coming.

Too many (to me one is too many) are left without personal resources, psychological and personality tools to handle the rejection, self-examination and motivation to build a great life because of the hard work that's involved.

And let's face it, the people they hang around don't exactly push education, personal development, community service, sacrifice, delayed gratification and relationship skills.

I've known too many people who are beautiful and because their looks have been such a focus of who they are - by their families, friends, and others in their lives, they failed to develop other aspects of their persona, humanity and personality and are left feeling empty -- and in turn, worthless.

Feeling worthless is just as toxic as feeling empty. Probably more toxic, actually.

Us normal looking folks are left to wonder how that could possibly happen to such great-looking people, whom we assume to be filled with all sorts of happiness and good fortune.

But it's true. After all is said and done, it's true. Beauty is only skin deep. It's what we do with our beauty - inner and outer - that makes our lives fantastic.

When we develop ourselves, our skills and our talents - and share ourselves with others? It makes for a rewarding, fulfilling life that only gets better as we learn more about ourselves, others and the world around us.

Which is why when you're gorgeous on the inside AND the outside - contributing to your "best" self, others, friends, family (birth and adopted) and the world in your own inimitable way - you are DA BOMB!

And there are many of those show-biz beauties in our world: Sandra Bullock, George Clooney, Denzel Washington, Charlize Theron, Pierce Bronson, Courteney Cox, Angelina Jolie, Ted Danson, Angela Bassett, Alec Baldwin and so many more who do such wonderful things without a stitch of publicity or noteriety.

I've seen a whole lot of beautiful people who could be in films but they choose not to because they want to do other things - and they live extremely rewarding, fulfilling lives. They focus their lives on what they do and who they are - not what they look like, though they certainly pay attention to taking good care of themselves!

Oh - and when you start out more gorgeous on the inside than the outside - and develop yourself and contribute in some way to better others and world around you?

Your outside becomes more and more beautiful as you get yourself out there, step by step.

You can't help it.

And when people greet you? They say, "Hey, Beautiful! Wassup!?"

*They* can't help it!

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